Postcollege Depression Revisted

Announcement:

This post has been moved to a new page on a new blog I have started that focuses on Personal and Career Development for Young Professionals. It can be found at www.MarcosSalazar.com.

As opposed to straight out career blogs that cover resumes, the job search, or interviewing skills, I will taking a psychology approach to not only these parts of your career but also will be covering the personal, social, and workforce challenges that college graduates and young professionals are facing in the 21st century. As I did in The Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide, I utilize a psychological approach to covering these topics and will be integrating important research within real life situations to provide practical advice for people's personal and professional development (if you have read The Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide you know what I mean).

Some of the topics I will be covering are

• learning how to find and follow what you love doing
• practical steps on how to get into Flow at work
• understanding the psychology of happiness and affective forecasting
• managing the tyranny of choice
• learning how to cultivate your emotional and cultural intelligence
• networking in the internet age
• learning how to brand yourself professionally
• discovering how to use blogging as a professional tool (it is the new resume of our generation)
• how to become more of an entrepreneur
• using social-networking for professional advancement
• getting over post-college depression
• helping to answer all those questions that we work through during our 20s and 30s such as: Who am I? Who do I want to become? Where am I going? What are my passions in life? Am I making the right decisions?

So I hope you take a look at the site, subscribe, and share it with friends.

I have also created a series of more in-depth posts about post-college depression at MarcosSalazar.com. Here I will delving much deeper into the increasingly common problem of depression, anxiety, and stress emerging adults of Generation Y through a series of posts as well as show how it can affect your work and career. I want to raise awareness of this epidemic among millennials and let people know that they are not alone in facing this problem. I exposed this problem in the Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide where I provided the first comprehensive explanation of this common problem and here I will expand on my findings as well as provide ways that you can combat the post-college blues. So please visit MarcosSalazar.com for the latest information on this topic.

Take care!

- Marcos Salazar
www.marcossalazar.com

____________________________

I have been getting so many emails on this topic that I had to repost this. So thanks for all the great emails and keep them coming!

In doing research for my book, I was so surprised by how many graduates told me that either they had become depressed or knew of fellow twentysomethings who had developed major depression. Along with depression, many spoke about feeling extremely nervous about how their life was unfolding because they did not know what the next step was and felt like they were simply wondering through their twenties. Because of nature of this transitional period, it is extremely common to struggle with an array of negative emotions that arise from all the challenges they face after college.

Many of the symptoms that twentysomethings said they experience after college are:

- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Focusing on failure at motherhood
- Excessive anxiety
- Lack of confidence
- Feeling of being overwhelmed
- Sadness
- Loss of interest in normal activities
- Tiredness
- Feeling like they’re not good enough
- Impaired concentration or memory
- Inability to cope
- Despondency or despair
- Hopelessness

Please visit this page at MarcosSalazar.com for the latest information on this topic, ways in which you can combat postcollege depression, and please post any new comments there.

Comments

[Tamar Karen]

I am totally feeling the late twenty blues - I'm 27 and don't see a clear path as to where I am going. I want to know that I will create meaningful change in my lifetime and am not sure how to proceed. I have worked many short contracts that are social justice related and have had some work that I simply needed to pay the bills. I want so much to be able to make a big difference in this crazy unjust world we live in. I have travelled a fair bit and so I don't feel a good sense of community. I am not currently dating anyone although tangled up in some ex relationships and probably at the beginning of some budding disasters... AGGGGGGGG I don't know if I should pick up a contract abroad again (probably volunteer) as paid ones are hard to come by or if I should build a community that would help me feel more at home ... anyone else feel like this?

[Melissa R.]

Yep. I'm feeling it. I think mine might be a mix of despair (over my dad passing away from lung cancer, which definitely pushed me into realizing our frail mortality), and post-graduate depression. Ugg.

[Victoria L]

In a month I will be 25. After high school I went to a Technical college to study Journalism. I was so happy and sure that this is what I wanted to do but I graduated 2 years later only to find that I couldn't cope with the real world. I ended up acting/travelling for 3 years and came back home to decide I want to pursue acting. I enrolled into a university BFA program a year later. I have spent one year at university, a lot of plans have failed. I am looking at my life thinking, what am I doing. I am scared because most of my friends are getting their masters or PHDs and I am still trying to figure out if this is really what I want to do.

[Chelci]

I totally am in the "Right After College" depression mode right now. I think it has to stem from the fact that I was SOO involved in college and then after I graduated in May, I had no where I absolutely had to be, I had no team to direct or no one to give orders to. I had to move in with the grandparents, and forego my social life as I once knew it. Moreover, I was the only person out of all of my friends who graduated "on-time," so I had no one who could truly understand where I'm coming from, especially since I am the first person in my family to graduate from college.
I really feel like I have been living in a bubble for the past four years of my life. I was led to believe that I was on a fast track to a fabulous career right after I graduated. It's been two months, countless interviews and still no fabulousness.

[Marie]

I'm feeling it - I'm 23, had to move back home because I couldn't afford my apt in the city anymore. All of my friends are married and having babies and I'm single. . . The guy I'm seeing has commitment issues and is rich, so he doesn't quite understand my problems. . . (i'm from a poor rural town).

The company I took a job with 6 months out of school is laying off employees left and right because the economy is bad. I only took this job because no one else would hire me cuz i couldn't get an internship in college. I couldn't afford an unpaid one. . .

So basically I'm fcked.

[Sarah-Jane]

Interesting analysis. I am in the post-grad depression according to a friend of mine who read a recent blog of mine. http://theescribitionist.blogspot.com/
All I can say is the second wave of post-grad depression sounds horrible!! It made me want to cry. I certainly hope that is not my fate. Try putting a positive spin on the world. I know you are just looking at the way things are, but it certainly didn't help me to know that it isn't going to get any better.

[Jeff]

Yes I have post college depression. I had an awesome time in college and I graduated two years ago. I worked, partied, studied, drank and smoked hard in college. I graduated in 3 and a half years while most of my friends took five years. I tried to keep my college ways for the first year but realized going to work hungover on two hours of sleep is miserable. It was hard the first year but it was cool to tell all my broke college friends about the money I was making. This last year I have not partied and have bought a house and had a serious girlfriend. I can go weeks without thinking about college but out of the blue I will get real depressed and it will seem like the days of my carefree college lifestyle were days away and I know I'm going to be old sooner or later telling anybody who would listen about how much fun I had in college. The honest truth is that no job is going to replace what you had in college and the real world is a lot colder. The best advise I have is go to Homecoming and alumni events when possible and take weekend trips to big colleges like Austin or USC. You don't have a ton of money for vacations when you graduate but with college towns everything is affordable and you can have a great time.

[Dave]

I have been dealing with a lot of post college depression too. I have had two 'false starts' career wise and I find myself living at home once more trying to figure out what I am going to do.

I think part of the issue with the mortality thing is America's obsession with youth. Once 23 or 24 rolls around you realize that you have been culturally dethroned by your baby brother. We get the cold shoulder by media and marketing that once valued us so much as we spent our parents money.

[Di]

Thank God there are other people who understand.

I was considering therapy--but I can't afford it because I don't think my medical covers it and I wasn't sure I wanted to pay a therapist to tell me things I can figure out from what I learned in Psych 101. Perhaps this is normal then.

[Di]

Thank God there are other people who understand.

I was considering therapy--but I can't afford it because I don't think my medical covers it and I wasn't sure I wanted to pay a therapist to tell me things I can figure out from what I learned in Psych 101. Perhaps this is normal then.

[Sean]

I've had my share of post-grad depression too. I graduated from college nearly three years ago. It's not that I miss college. I pretty much took advantage of the experience and did nearly everything I wanted to do. I was involved in sports and other school activities, worked, good student, lots of friends, ambitious, optimistic and saw myself as being more mature than most my peers.

When I graduated, I was pumped. With a great intership under my belt, I was ready to apply what I gained college and change the world.

Like Jeff posted above, I experienced my share of false starts. Within 3 months, I found my first job, but quickly found out it was for me. My first two jobs I was let go...told I was good enough. All of a sudden, I didn't know what came next. My life had no direction. If I was doing good for someone fresh out of college, I didn't know it.

Then I landed the job of my dreams and did that for a year. That year however consisted of mismanagement, unprofessionalism, harassment, among others, making it hard to stay focused and optimistic. It didn't take long for that to fall either.

After my share of misfortunes, I'm found someplace that makes me happy for the time being, but amist that there is always something to worry about. I'm 25 years old now and I wonder if I'm doing enough to save for my retirement. I'm 25 and worry about RETIREMENT! I'm in a steady relationship, but that comes with it's shown share of problems. I want to by a house, but when will that come? I'm not making 50k + or six figures yet. I want to go to grad school, but don't know what to focus on. Now, I find myself reconsidering the goals I set when I was a teen. I've always had high standards for myself and feel as if I need to be doing more so I don't fall behind my peers.

[SEAN]

(EDITED VERSION OF MY POST)

I've had my share of post-grad depression too. I graduated from college nearly three years ago. It's not that I miss college. I pretty much took advantage of the experience and did nearly everything I wanted to do. I was involved in sports and other school activities, worked, good student, leader, lots of good friends, ambitious, optimistic and saw myself as being more mature than most my peers.

When I graduated, I was pumped. With a great intership under my belt, I was ready to apply what I gained in college and change the world.

Like Jeff posted above, I experienced my share of false starts. Within 3 months, I found my first job, but quickly found out it wasn't for me. I was "let go" from my first two jobs ...told I wasn't good enough or not a good fit. All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do. I felt like a failure with no direction. If someone told me I was doing good for someone fresh out of college, I didn't know it.

Then I landed the job of my dreams as a newspaper reporter and did that for a year. That year, however, turned out to be a bad, eyeopening experience for me. It didn't take long for that to fall either. Made me realize how important it is to work with good people. I also realized that time is precious. Once it's gone, it's gone.

After my share of career misfortunes, I've found someplace that makes me happy for the time being. But amidst that, I feel axious all the time. I feel like I never have a moment of peace in my head.

I find it hard to motivate myself like I used to when I was in school. No more pats on the back or words of praise on a regular basis. Then on another note, I'm so busy with my own life that I see and talk less and less to my friends. I'm 25 years old now and I wonder if I'm doing enough to save for my retirement. I'm 25 and worry about RETIREMENT! I'm in a steady relationship, and that alone comes with it's shown share of problems outside the adjustment to reality.

I want to by a house, but when will that come? I'm not making 50k + or six figures yet. I want to go to grad school, but don't know what to focus on. Now, I find myself reconsidering the goals I set way back when I was a teen. I've always had high standards for myself and continuously feel as if I need to be doing more so I don't fall behind my peers.

I've realized their is little about this world that I can change immediately. Even if you are a nice person and do all the right things, you can still get screwed.

[Mizzy]

Glad to know there are others who share the quiet desperation of post-college life, the world of the unknown! In college the world is your playground, you can dream of changing it while wearing designer clothes as you skip to the coffee shop to meet your metrosexual boyfriend... okay that's my own fantasy... pretty sure I got it from Carrie, Sam, Charlotte, and Miranda.. but whatever. The point is, I think a common theme is that college is great for empowering teen-twenty somethings and making them think them can do anything- (unless you flunked out) but NOBODY tells you that just because you graduated from a fabulous school, doesn't mean you'll be good at life... it doesn't mean you won't be faced with the same types of problems you did before you went to college. It doesn't meant that you're particular smarter than anyone else who didn't go to college. It does mean you'll be forced to take a large sour gulp of reality when you realize you have ten thousand billion dollars of student loans to pay off- and you have to live with your parents so you won't starve to death in the fabulous streets of the city. (insert personal autobiography here). And no matter how liberal your college career was, no matter how much you can't stand capitalism and corporations and evil evil evil, to live in America requires that you bleed money, and that you love doing it.

bleh! it sucks! my professors all said I was so smart and mature! So why do I work at a call center and live with my mom in the burbs? During these moments of quarter life crisisdom, I think it's important to try and dedicate yourself to some goal- anything. Learn a language, study for the GRE, teach yourself how to sew... learn to cook exotic cuisine. The turbulent twenties don't have to be doom and gloom. They don't have to be directionless- and who says that a wandering soul is all bad? Life is meant to be enjoyed with love, and if you're still wishy washy about the future, maybe it's because you need to experience more things before realizing what makes you thrive. Sometimes college isn't enough for that.

I am personally one of those people who wants to do something great, but has no clue what great thing to pick. It's terrifying and stifling to have all of these choices hurdling at your face like shooting stars, attacking you with their promise of happiness. After college there is nooooobody to tell you which star to pick, and nobody to cry to if you think you picked the wrong one.

That's been my problem my entire life, the compulsive need to accomplish something, but having no idea where to direct all my hyperactive, very enthusiastic energy towards. By now I've considered that most people either get successful from a streamlined focused life plan from birth, or simply by being at the right place at the right time. Or by being born into a wealthy family. (the last one happens the most). So by elimination of the impossible, I had better buy a rabbits foot and make four leaf clover bracelets out of unicorn hair.

It scares me because I've always felt like I had free choice in my life- but it simply isn't true. One day I will desperately want to be an actress, and the next I'll want to major in International Affairs, and then the next day I can't possibly understand why I'd choose either career because my true calling is to start my own business. And all of those choices were made by stupid things, like a comment a woman made on a bus that made me consider industrial psychology, or a random trip to the spa that made me realize my true dream of becoming a massage therapist. Can we really control our future at all, if a strange glance from a stranger in the grocery store makes me want to be a celebrity animal trainer? It's the world around us that makes our decisions for us. Still, I sooo envy those people who are dedicated to something they've wanted all their lives. They must sleep like dead babies.

I've decided to allow the winds to direct me where they wish, because I don't have the stamina to be attached to anything for more than a day, I don't have enough fire in my blood to guide me towards some passionate ambition, and frankly, I think people are too obsessed with being awesome and fantastic that we don't step back and realize that idea is just a mirage. Once you're fantastic, there are loads of people more fantastic than you are, that you must now compete with. Nobody can live happily that way. It is best to just live, and guide your life by doing what brings joy to your heart. Cheesy, but I believe it. The best way to change the world is by bringing joy to yourself, which will bring joy to others without effort. And that brings us to where we started from, which is... what the hell is going to bring me joy?

and that's life.

[Tom]

It's good to know I'm not alone.

I busted my butt off in college, to get a degree in biology. I thought there would be plenty of jobs, which is what the college told me. When I graduated, I left school and an internship which entailed living on the beach studying sea turtles. I knew that lifestyle would be irreplaceable. But with all the hard work I put in and the diversity of my career path, I thought I would find something similar.

I got a job at an environmental consulting company (160 miles from where I went to school), where I sit in an office, staring at a computer and acting busy. At least once a month, I'm told the company is struggling and I'm lucky to have a job. I have been there a year with no raise. I had to get a 2nd job on the weekends running food to tables, where I make more money/hr. The pay is lousy.

Luckily, I live with my parents. And as many of you know, it isn't fun. Due to the instability of the job I don't feel secure enough to move out.

Working 7 days a week + living with parents + out of college town = no social life.

The jobs aren't there to apply for, salary is terrible, and I don't have enough experience.

Going through all this has made me question what my hard work was for.

[Yes!]

Total mid-20s depression here. I thought I finally had it all figured out, and then I got rejected from all the graduate programs to which I applied. I guess it doesn't matter where you go to college or how good your GRE scores are... anyway, now I'm working part-time at the first college I went to (I transferred), sleeping on friends' couches, and looking desperately for a job that I'll be able to work at for at least a year without turning into a serious alcoholic. That's my criteria at this point: so long as it is marginally tolerable enough that I won't come home every night and drown my sorrows in copious amounts of booze, I will take your job! Please! Except, too bad there just aren't that many jobs out there to take...

And I tried moving home once before. It REALLY didn't work out, so that's not really an option for me.

It doesn't help that I have an older sibling who did everything perfectly and is now super-successful and happy. How do you follow that? And we're only a year apart!

It's good to know that I'm not alone, though. I have a lot of really successful friends so I often feel like this gigantic fuckup who can't figure anything out, while everyone around me makes their lives work beautifully. Good to hear that others out there are struggling, too -- it's not just me!

[Jake]

I also just graduated last may and I want to mention another aspect of this post-college blues that I've been going through and that hasn't been discussed here as much.

That is, having gone to a mid-size liberal arts school, I felt that by the end of my time there, I really had my own place on campus, I'd found my niche. I had a lot of friends that I would see every time I went out for a walk or sat on the college green to read. If I was ever bored I could find at least one or two other people who wanted to do something. I always had someone to eat dinner with or grab a beer with, there was always a friend's band or art show to go see, and it was (relatively) easy to meet women. The sort of tight, ready made community I was a part of is what I am sorely missing now.

Probably I'll wind up in the same location as a few of my friends, and thankfully email and g-chat make it easier to keep tabs. Still, there are so many people that I'll only see rarely, if ever (maybe at reunions). I think the loss of that community that I loved so much is a huge part of the blues that I've been feeling for the past couple months.

[Nicky]

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. Everyone in my life is getting on my nerves. They think they know so much. When I graduated college I was able to get a good paying job. It had nothing really to do with what I majored in but it was nice money and it sounded nice to tell people what I did.

Then earlier this year the company laid off my department and I'm scrambling to find a job. I apply to countless jobs and I have searched all over my town. People mean well when they ask me if I applied at the obvious places in my town but I'm like I have a degree so I have to have a little intelligence. Of course I applied there!

Also, I'm really religious so people in my religious community act like I'm not doing something right. They say maybe you're not praying hard enough for a new job or a husband or direction. I tell them I pray every day, several times a day. Then they are like well maybe God's mad because you try to rush Him along. I think well they do a whole lot of crazy bad stuff all the time and they still got a job, a house, and a man. I just don't get why people try to judge my situation as a punishment from God.

During this awful transitional time I have contemplated suicide a lot. I don't think I can go through with it because my family has dealt with the loss of a few relatives. I lost my mom two years ago so I can definitely relate to the person earlier who lost their dad. I also had to take care of her and my father who had cancer, too.

I moved back home to help take care of my dad. He's better and he's gone back to work. But I'm left jobless, low on money, and with a love life that needs life support.

I never thought it would be this way. When I was a teen, I thought certainly by this age I'd be seriously dating someone, I'd have a great career or even my own company, and I'd be living a cool life in my nice little house or apartment. It's so hard to realize that all these things can happen but just not right now.

Oh and today I held one of my friend's babies and I almost started crying. I know I'm only 26 and biologically I should be able to easily have a baby for several more years but all I keep hearing in my brain is 4 more years! 4 more years. My biological clock keeps telling me 4 more years like if I don't have a baby by 30, my ovaries will explode and I'll have to get a dog to dress up in baby clothes.

It's amazing how our own analyzing and fears can drive us crazy.

[Time]

I empathize with all of you. It is unfortunate that we must endure such uncertainty after working so hard. I have a masters and two bachelors I cannot find a job even though I am will to relocate. My main problem is that right now I am practically homeless, there is really no one to help. I can't apply for a mortgage or personal loan because I don't have a job. I just feel really envious toward rich folks especially those air headed celebrities who seem to cruise through life. I don't understand why something as basic as shelter is so expensive. Everyone should have the right or entitlement to housing and food. I went to college and I still don't have that. This is very distressing.

[Doug]

Even when everyone says "thank God I'm not alone" in post-college depression, I want to say it, yet I still feel alone. I am about to turn 23 and graduated last December '07. I continued to live with a college roommate for the Spring semester and had a girlfriend (a true soul mate)who I started dating in Sept/Oct of '07. I also took an additional Acting Course at my college (was a Theatre Major) for free and was in a show that semester as well. Pretty much it took 4.5 years to graduate but 5 years of college living.

By the end of the school year, my relationship fell apart and sent me into the initial depression. I had planned for a year to go to England to live and work with a 6-month Visa. I went for a month. Realized it wasn't what I wanted anymore and came back to the states. I am now living at home working (while trying to pay off the England thing) before the claimed eventual move to Chicago/LA to start my acting career. I am in an essence in what I like to call post-college purgatory, ontop of the depression.

Half of my friends have graduated and have started their lives, and the other half (including the now Ex, whom I can't get over) are still in college. I'm an hour and 20 minutes from that city and keep wanting to use every excuse to go up and see people. Everyone knows I'm ultimately depressed and all people can say is "give it time" and similar sayings. I have no clue what the solution is.

My 25 year old sister might be moving back home with my 18 month old nephew after troubles with her boyfriend. Life at home isn't fun. No social life really and GRASPING any glimpse I can still get of the college lifestyle. I think this transition is hard enough in itself, and I am having to do it with the heartbreak and loss of the one I thought I couldn't lose and would be there to help with this transition.

Suicide has run through my mind as well as a couple others have said. No health-insurance means no therapy or depression meds. I feel as though I'm going to look back in 20 years and find that my life topped off when I was 22.

I have always been sort of an optimist, but this time around, it's a little different. Turns out love is the most important aspect in my life, and all I want is to have the woman of my life back because everything else might be figured out.

[Helen]

From reading everyone's comments it's good to know that we are all in similar situations. I've recently graduated from university and am looking for a job. Any job will do for now so long as it brings me money. I'm living back at home so the social life is lacking but at least if I get some cash I can go visit friends who are still at university. I find it helps to plan exciting fun things, to have something to look forward to. The days seems to pass by and roll into one at the moment! I feel like a housebound pensioner. What this time has allowed for is a lot of thinking and reflection! I've got to live in the present now rather than dream about the future or pine for the past. I find myself re-evaluating my situation over and over again and am not getting anywhere because ultimately there's too much thinking going on and not enough action or motivation! I know I've got to just get out there and try something, but until someone takes a chance on me and employs me I'm stuck. Being unemployed really doesn't make you feel good about yourself, it's like if anyone meets you and asks what you do and you say "er well I don't have a job...but I am trying to get one" they just automatically have a low opinion of you. I've recently dug out old records I used to listen to and came accross a Coldplay track that goes "Nobody said it was easy, no-one ever said it would be this hard, I'm going back to the start." I feel the lyrics are relevant to my life right now. I'm making a new beginning and taking each day as it comes, one step at a time. As the proverb goes, "It doesn't work to cross a 20ft chasm in two 10ft jumps."

[lost]

I really thought i was the only one who felt like a big loser. I relocated to London assuming i would find a job easily and now im sitting here jobless with no friends and feeling like a big loner. Everyone has moved on and most of my friends have lucked out or thrown themselves into post academic education having to be the last one left without a job is brutal. Being 23 and a recent graduate has proven to be one of the lowest pts of my life. It's hard to wake up in the morning and motivate yourself to keep going and pushing foward when all you feel is defeated. Being unemployed is the ultimate rejection and you can't help but feel inadequate, you work so hard all 4 yrs achieving A's and B's only to leave school and realize no one wants to know you; not even those oh so helpful head hunting agencies to them your nothing but a product waiting to be shifted and if you don’t have corporate experience your academic knowledge is worthless.

However at the same time the career enhancing job that i have been searching for is still not the solution to the whole issue. The thought of being in an industry where i am surrounded by ppl in their mid 30s and beyond is definitely nothing like living the res life and being amongst your equals and academic peers who you could easily bond and form friendships with. I really don’t feel i can relate to all the 30+ year olds amidst the rat race.

I believe the isolation is far greater when you've been living on campus environment, during university you feel as though u are living with a community and all this changes upon graduating. Instead you are thrust into a cold profession world where everyone is much older and experienced and it just makes you feel so much smaller. At least in University students could hold on to their self-worth and esteem by priding themselves on being academics as well as, working towards their future goals.

However leaving school has made me realize in the eyes of the business world being a new graduate you're merely a disposable minion who is not even worth the $5/hr temp position your competing so hard for. All i have left is the rosy glow of memories of my previous undergrad life. The harsh reality is still setting in and i have realized my unrealistic expectations were nothing but fantasy. A post graduate’s professional ranking is at the bottom of the food chain. I wish my university would have prepared me for this reality because the most i have to look forward to now is to somehow climb the corporate ladder by being some tight assed executives bitch.